Reliving The Past
by oboe buddy
Summary: In the course of life, a lot can happen, and none of it can ever be undone. However, there can be the illusion of forgetting it all and leaving the past behind you. Unfortunately, it's too often nothing more than that: an illusion.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey, everybody! I am oboe buddy, and this is my BTR story :) Sorry if it's a bit rushed, but I wanted to fit in as much as possible. Anywayz... I don't own BTR. I wish I did, but I don't. I own nothing... except my love for Logan. Muahaha. So... I hope you like it! And pleeeaaassse review!_

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"SILENCE!!!" The voice of Gustavo Rocque ripped through the conversations to be had between the boys of Big Time Rush. Four pairs of eyes immediately met his own, and, satisfied with this response, Gustavo continued to talk.

"Now," He cleared his throat for impact, "As you may, or most likely, may not know, ASPA requires each student to have a C or higher average on his or her report card in order to remain in the business of singing, dancing, and/or acting." With this, he made eye contact with each and every one of the boys, glaring the whole time.

"You," he spat, directing his gaze at Kendal, "Have a _**D**_ in English! And _you_," He pointed his finger at Carlos' chest, "Have a D _minus_ in science!!" He was getting angrier with each person, and poked James hard in the forehead.

"_**D**_ in **math**!!" He was practically screaming now. Clearly this did not make him happy.

"AND _**FINALLY**_,_**YOU,**_" He continued his glare to Logan. The other three boys nearly laughed; as if Logan would have anything below an A+. They leaned forward as they prepared to see Gustavo's face when he realized his mistake, "_**ARE **__**FAILING**__** HISTORY!!!!**_"

As the other three members of Big Time Rush stared at him with their eyes wide in shock, Logan dropped his head so that his chin was touching his chest. But Gustavo didn't skip a beat.

"THEREFORE!!" He continued yelling, "YOU WILL NOT BE RECORDING ANYTHING UNTIL YOU MORONS ARE UP TO WHERE YOU SHOULD BE!!!"

At this, Kelly quickly stepped in, placing herself between the raging man and the four boys.

"Basically," she explained as calmly as she could, "You're going to be having a tutor when you would generally be doing… well, stuff like this!" She gave a fake smile, which was returned by four horrified expressions.

"Anyways…" She continued, gesturing towards the door, "This is Mr. Mitchell, your new tutor!"

A tall, dark-haired man entered as she finished her sentence. To Carlos, James, and Kendal, he was just another tutor. But to Logan, seeing the man in the doorway was like sticking a knife through his shoulder. After the move to Minnesota, there was never supposed to be any contact. _Ever_.

"Hey, guys!" His tone sounded cool and laid-back, like the teacher every kid wanted to have. The other three boys gave gestures of acknowledgement, but Logan sat stone still. He saw right through the act, "I'm Mr. Mitchell. Hopefully, you won't need me for too long. I mean, who wants more school than absolutely necessary, right?" There were a few short laughs, and the man's grin never faltered.

'So nobody else finds this guy creepy?' Logan just wanted to leave the room as soon as possible.

"So, I will have private sessions with each of you, seeing as you all need work in different areas," Mr. Mitchell talked like it was actually going to be _fun_, "Starting with… Logan Mitchell. Huh, funny… we have the same last name! That has to count for something good!" Instead of a verbal response, Logan merely shrugged. Making eye contact with his tutor, Logan saw a gleam in his eyes. It was almost unnoticeable, but there nonetheless.

That same gleam was the reason this was the first time he'd seen his father in four years; the reason for every nightmare he'd ever had.

********

"So," Mr. Mitchell began once they entered the tutoring room, "How've you been these past years?" He sounded like he was actually a nice guy. But Logan knew better.

"Better. Seeing as life sucked with you in it." He had finally left, and now… he was back.

Mr. Mitchell's expression changed immediately to rage. He pulled back his fist, and punched Logan hard in the stomach. Logan's breath left him as he bent over, memories of the first twelve years of his life coming back.

"You need to learn some _respect_!!!!!" Surely somebody would hear the screaming; Mr. Mitchell was _so loud_, "Obviously you need to be taught some manners! History can wait."

With that, he grabbed Logan's shirt, and threw him into the wall. His head smacked against it, and for a moment, everything spun. Mr. Mitchell continued punching and kicking, or throwing his son into the wall. That is, if you could call Mr. Mitchell a 'father'.

"You…little…BRAT!!!" He exaggerated each word with another blow to Logan's stomach, "I… come….to….see….my…son…and…this…is…what…I….get?!?!?!?!"

Logan could have sworn he heard a rib crack, and wondered how he was going to hide this from his friends. It had been easy when he had lived in Colorado, but in Colorado, he had no friends. Now, he had three of the best friends in the world, and they were sharing an apartment. Sure, his dad was always careful not to hit him in the face, but would that really matter?

"You were _never_ a father to me," Logan spoke with as much hatred in his voice as he possibly could.

"So, that's what you think, is it?" The intense attacking suddenly halted.

'Is it possible I actually got through to him?' Logan was hoping beyond what he knew was reasonable for that.

But soon his hopes were dashed, as a wicked grin took over Mr. Mitchell's face.

"I'm going to make you see how kind I've been to you, and you'll see how wrong you are about me!" Logan knew that couldn't be good. If that man was anything, it was _not_ kind.

Mr. Mitchell produced a vial from his pocket, and his grin grew even wider seeing the fear on Logan's face. He quickly plunged the needle into the boy's arm, injecting the liquid into his bloodstream.

"Now, I realized I couldn't have you get yourself sent to the emergency room," The man spoke as if they were discussing a beautiful sunset, "So it's just a small dose. But it will make you wish you were getting hit with a baseball bat instead."

Logan glared but said nothing, for no reason other than because he could hardly breathe. But if he had a choice, he would have yelled non-stop, no matter what happened to him. Mr. Mitchell, obviously satisfied with his work, spun on his heel and took a seat at his desk.

"Now, if I'm not mistaken, your friend… James will be here in about five minutes, and your session is up. I'll see you tomorrow… assuming you can actually get here." He gave a wicked smile, dismissing Logan with a wave of his hand, like they had just been having a normal history lesson.

"Oh, and I'm sure you still remember the rules?" Of course Logan still remembered the rules. Anybody he told would be killed; and if he told the police, everybody he was close to would die before his father was caught. And if he tried to run, the latter would still happen. There was no escape.

Logan nodded, and managed to push himself up from the floor, and slowly but painfully got to his feet just as the door swung open, revealing his questionably wet friend James.

"Hey, you missed it!!" He shouted excitedly, "The Jennifers pushed me, Carlos, and Kendal into the pool! I think they like us!" His face was lit up in quite possibly the largest grin ever created by mankind.

'Just let him live in his bizarre illusion,' Logan thought, forcing a smile on his face.

"Yeah, they're totally in to you guys. Um, I gotta go, but have fun math." With that, he moved as quickly as he could out the door, shutting it behind him. Making a beeline for the apartment, he struggled not to fall over.

Walking through the hallways, Logan wasn't really aware of anything that happened around him. He had no idea if anybody called his name, or if he passed any of his friends. In fact, he barely even noticed when Gustavo nearly crashed into him.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" he shouted, clearly annoyed, "Just because you're not under my control for the time being doesn't mean you can ignore me!"

"Sorry, Gustavo. I'll pay more attention." Logan mumbled quietly, stepping around the man to the elevator.

"Yes, you will. Now, get out my sight!"

But Logan didn't hear him. He was too focused on willing the elevator to come faster. Whatever Mr. Mitchell had given him, it was working fast. His head had begun to pound, and he was barely suppressing a coughing fit, which he knew would be painful once it came, thanks to all the blows his ribs had landed.

Finally, the little 'ding' signified the elevator's arrival, and he entered it gratefully, watching the doors close shut. As soon as it reached the right floor, he rushed out, trying to find his apartment. After what seemed like forever, he was fumbling the key into the lock, and pushing the door open.

He barely made it to the couch before he passed out.

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_So, that is that! You like? Find it creepy? Anything? You can tell me by clicking that little green button....._


	2. Chapter 2

_Oh. My. Gosh. YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!!! 19 REVIEWS!!! 10 FAVORITES!!! 20 ALERTS!!!! That's like a million times what I expected!!!!!!!!! And sorry I took so long! I promise to be faster next time!! Oh and sorry about not replying to the reviews... I got to the first few and them my e-mail account started being all annoying (just got a new one and it took a bit to get used to) so I had to go to the stats page to see if I got any. But now I've gotten better at using it, and should be replying to all of them! Again, thank you soooooo much for being so patient and reviewing like crazy! Y'all are AWESOME!!!! And enjoy chapter 2 of Reliving the Past.... AKA Let's Torture Logan.... XD_

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"Logan, you in here?" Kendal called from the doorway of Big Time Rush's apartment, "We were gonna go get some pizza."

Logan blinked groggily, trying to shake himself awake. As he sat up, everything spun, but he ignored it.

"Yeah," he responded, "I'll meet you guys in the lobby." He rubbed his eyes, telling his brain to snap out of sleep mode. In doing so, every hit he had taken decided to make itself known, and he winced softly in pain, trying to make it as quiet as possible. But Kendal heard it anyway.

"Um, you OK?" He sounded concerned, and it showed on his face. He stepped into the room, moving over to where he had heard Logan's voice coming from.

"Yeah, dude, I'm fine. Why?" He laughed standing up from the couch, "You just feel the urge to ask?" Kendal might have bought it if his friend hadn't erupted into a fit of coughing at that exact moment.

"You evil liar."

Once the attack had subsided, Logan gave Kendal, who was now right next to him, an innocent look.

"I didn't lie!" He countered, "It's probably just… allergies! Or something!" Kendal rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, allergies from the black lagoon!"

"So you discovered my secret." Kendal sighed. Of all times for Logan to get a sense of humor.

"Logan."

"Sorry."

"What have you been doing all day? This is more of a… multi-person place. There's not much to do by yourself."

"Um, I guess I just sorta fell asleep." Getting as close to the truth as possible would lead to the least amount of confrontations.

"Just… fell asleep? For six hours?" Kendal gave his friend a quizzical look.

"Six _hours_? Are you sure?" Throwing his gaze to the clock on the DVD player, Logan saw that his friend wasn't lying. The numbers stared back at him: 7:00.

"Oh, man…" he muttered, shoving his hand through his jet black hair, "Well, I guess I'll be up late tonight." He gave a small joking smile, which was returned by Kendal's emotionless expression.

"Will you _stop_ giving me that look?" Logan said defensively, "I told you I'm fi- whoa." He swayed unsteadily as he took a step forward and would have fallen if Kendal hadn't grabbed his arm before he could.

"And I repeat: evil liar." Kendal smirked, pushing his friend onto the couch as Logan glared at him.

"Okay, fine. You win. I'll just stay here tonight; no big deal." Kendal smiled at this response.

"Yup. You _will _stay here." Logan gave him a 'what-gives' look, and Kendal continued.

"With my mom."

Damn it.

*********

"Now, Logan," Ms. Knight gave him a disapproving look, "Why did you go and get yourself sick?"

"Sorry," He muttered meekly, avoiding eye contact.

"Um… I was kidding." She raised an eyebrow, searching for the thermometer she had had stashed in a drawer somewhere.

"Oh… um, I guess I'm just not… uh… used to this sorta thing."

"What, you've never gotten sick before? That's weird… where _is_ that thing?!"

"No, I have it's just my mom has to work all the time so I usually just take care of myself." And, usually, he wasn't poisoned.

"Oh," She sounded surprised to hear this from Logan, of all people. Thankfully, she found the thermometer in time to spare any awkward conversations.

"Okay, now put this in your mouth and wait 'till it beeps." She handed to him, and he took it without saying anything.

After a few seconds, the little device beeped, and Mrs. Knight took it from Logan's hand glancing at the numbers. As he coughed a few times, she gave him a concerned look.

"What?" he asked, confusion evident across his face.

"Nothing," she muttered quietly, then louder, "I'll be right back."

Logan took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to will away the headache that was pounding against the sides of his head. This was going to be a long couple of days.

******

"Hello?" Linda Mitchell held her office phone to her ear with the support of her shoulder, typing away on the computer. If she didn't get that report in by the next day, her boss would have her head.

_"Linda?"_ She smiled hearing the voice of Janet Knight on the other end of the line.

"Hi, Janet! Um, listen, can I call you back in a few? I have a major-"

Janet cut her off before she could finish.

_"I wouldn't have called during work hours if it weren't important."_ The tone of her friend's voice made Linda stop typing immediately.

"What's wrong? Are the boys OK?" Her face took on an expression of worry as stood from her chair.

_"Well, Logan's a pretty sick kid right now,"_ Linda began to feel a knot of worry in her stomach. Report forgotten, she was completely prepared to catch the first flight to LA if she had to.

"How bad is it?" Hopefully, it was just a 'heads-up' sort of thing.

"Well," Janet sighed, "He's coughing really hard… and I took his temperature just a second ago; 103.8 °F. Is that… normal?"

Linda squeezed her eyes shut, admitting to herself that she had no idea is that was normal. That job had crazy hours, but it seemed like it was the only one available.

She sighed, and avoided answering the question, "I'll be there as soon as I can. Um, could I talk to Logan?"

Janet was quick to say yes, and there was some rustling on the other line as the phone was transferred to her son.

_"Mom?"_ His voice was tired as he spoke into the receiver.

"Hey, kiddo. How ya doing?" She asked softly, already gathering her things together to leave.

_"Um… not great."_ She laughed quietly at his response, _"I, uh, have to have a tutor in history."_

"And why is that?"

_"Because I'm… failing."_ She sighed. Grades had never been a problem for Logan, but it had to happen eventually.

"Well, do you like your tutor?" She tried to sound optimistic. He coughed before responding, and it made Linda's chest hurt merely listening to it.

_"No."_ It was a simple answer, but she could hear him trying to hold back tears. Could the tutor really be that bad?

"Oh, come on, Logan," She teased, "Is their name something like 'Mr. Zilla' or something?"

She heard him give a dry laugh on his end.

_"Worse,"_ he spoke, _"Mr. Mitchell."_

"Oh my God…" She whispered. There wasn't any need to verify that they were in fact discussing the same man. Only one person in the world could make her son this upset.

"Just hang on, baby, I'll be there by tomorrow." She dropped everything she was carrying into her bag, hurrying to her car. She would call her boss from the road; her son was in danger.

_"Mom, don't!"_ He shouted as loudly as he could, _"I'll be fine! Please, I don't want you to get into this."_ As he finished speaking, he began coughing again, this time longer and somehow harder. Linda could feel tears in her eyes as she heard her son still trying to protect her, even now.

"There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop me, young man," She said sternly, snapping her phone shut before Logan could protest. She swung open the building's door, revealing lots of snow and wind hitting her in the face. She squinted, trying to find her car through the storm. She shivered and pulled her coat more tightly around herself.

Time for living nightmare, part two.

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_And that was chapter two! Hope ya liked it!! And you were all so awesome at clicking that rectangular button last time... can you pretty please do it again? 0:)_


	3. Chapter 3

WOW I'M SOOO SORRY!!! I got my self grounded like a bajillion times.... but I worked on it when I could!! Anywayz... 27 REVIEWS!!! YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING AWESOME!!!!! When I started this story I was hoping for maybe one every other chapter haha XD THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!!! And a special thank you to BTR4life who reviewed twice on this chapter :D ANYWHO!! I hope you like it!! And there are a few more cuss words than originally intended so sorry about that and if you have and issue with it then please message me or something and I'll edit them out :)

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"Carlos, will you _stop_ putting marinara sauce in my root beer!" James shouted at his ridiculously immature, helmet-wearing friend, "The people here do _not_ like it when I have to dump it out in the sink!"

"But the soda's hungry, too! It's not fair that it has to watch us eat and not get to have anything itself." Typically, you might think a person was joking when they said something like that. But the thing is… Carlos was entirely serious.

"So, Carlos," Kendal stated casually, "Exactly how high were you dropped from as a baby?"

Katie giggled, although she was still annoyed that she had to be dragged along with her brother and his not-so-smart friends.

"Three feet, five inches." The mouths of the other three people seated at the table opened just a little bit, surprised to hear that their joking theory had actually been correct.

"What?" Carlos asked innocently, seeing the nearly identical reactions around the table.

Kendal shook his head quickly, muttering "Nothing," under his breath, and the other two did the same.

"How come this place is so empty?" Katie asked, looking around the usually crowded restaurant. Aside from the booth they were sitting in, only two tables were filled.

"I dunno… it's kinda weird… but hey, more pizza for us!" Carlos grinned, making eye contact with his friends, who nodded their heads in response. Katie gave them a look as if they were the most stupid people in the world.

"You guys do know that you don't get free pizza just because there are less people, right?" The faces of the three boys fell immediately as they realized she was right.

"Come on!" James made eye contact with the other people at the table, "We're in_ Los Angeles_. There's _always_ something to do!"

"Is there something that my mom would actually _let_ us do?" Kendal countered his friend's statement with a look on his face that said 'it's hopeless.'

"Probably not," James responded, a smile on his face, "But if she doesn't know we're doing it, then she can't possibly say no, can she?"

"I like it," Katie nodded her head, grin growing; "There is finally somebody on the same page as me!"

"Sorry, Katie," James shrugged, "While we could maybe pass off as old enough to get into a club, you can't."

"So then you'll do something else. I mean, where could you possibly put me?" She took on a smug look and folded her arms across her chest.

"Oh, that's easy," Kendal stated, smirking.

Katie's expression began to change into one of worry as her brain tried to think of what horrors her brother had in mind. She wasn't sure if she liked this plan so much anymore.

*****

"_This_ is where I have to stay for the whole night?!" Katie screamed, trying to be heard over the noise. She was surrounded by a bunch of kids running around what looked like a giant preschool room.

"Just for a couple of hours. Have fun!" Carlos grinned, giving her a little wave. The three boys grinned and left Katie standing in the middle of the chaos, an evil glare on her face.

As she watched them walk out the door, a dodge ball hit her in the back. She sighed.

'This is going to be a _long_ night.'

*****

"So, Carlos, got the ID's?" James grinned as his friend flashed their pass to the club in front of them.

"We are now twenty-one!" He smiled, handing out the fake ID's. Kendal looked a little nervous, starting to think twice about this.

"Guys, are you sure about this?" he was skeptical about this plan working out so well.

"Come on!" Carlos rolled his eyes, "Logan is supposed to be the one afraid to break the rules, and he's not here! Let's take advantage of this opportunity, not destroy it with a wimp-like decision."

James nodded. "He's right. We're not going to have many chances like this one, so let's go! It'll be fun."

"Man, you're right!" Kendal said, shaking his head, "What was I thinking? Into the land of older, sexier women!"

The other two laughed, and before he could change his mind again, they had been herded inside. Music pounded in their ears, and people crowded the dance floor.

"Let's party up!!" Carlos shouted, merging into the crowd. Kendal and James looked at each other, shrugged, and then followed him, whooping as they went.

"This is gonna be fun!"

*****

Janet sighed, glancing into the bedroom at the lone figure asleep in the bed closest to the window. After the conversation with his mother two hours previously, it seemed the fever had started to take its toll. He had fallen into a not-so-peaceful sleep, and there was a lot of tossing and turning involved.

She racked her brain, trying to find some clue as to how he could have gone from perfectly fine to this in twelve hours.

'It just doesn't make any sense!' she thought, suddenly wishing she had Dr. House on her side with a brain full of diagnoses. Trying to push away her worry, she entered the kitchen and took a seat at the counter, beginning to wonder where her own son and daughter were. It was now 9:15, almost two hours after they had left.

She shook her head and told herself to forget about it.

'He's responsible,' she reasoned with herself, 'And besides, I should be thrilled that he and Katie are spending time with each other. I'm sure he'll make good decisions.' With this reassurance, Janet picked up her favorite magazine and blocked out the rest of the world.

*****

"Dude, this is the _best!_" James shouted to Carlos, one arm draped around a woman in racy clothing, the other holding his first beer.

"Isn't it?!" his friend who was in the same situation replied, "We should have thought of this weeks ago!"

Kendal looked on with a skeptical look on his face. He had been fine with the girls and the dancing, but definitely not the drinking. His friends had promised only one drink, but he wasn't so sure they would follow through. Folding his arms across his chest, he leaned against the wall and waited for James and Carlos to get some sense and decide they were done with this milestone.

'We could be here awhile,' he sighed, wishing that he had never agreed to this in the first place. Sometime during his thoughts of remorse, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. Pulling it out, he saw 'Mom' on the caller ID.

"Hello?" he hoped he didn't sound too nervous or like he was hiding something. He tried his best to keep his voice cool and even. Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was past ten o'clock. He groaned inwardly that he had let time get away from him.

_"Hi, Kendal, I was just call- where are you?"_

'So she noticed the music…' He had a feeling that this conversation would not end well for him.

"Uh, the pizza place!" he replied, hoping she would buy it.

_"That must be one crazy pizza place."_ She obviously wasn't falling for it.

Kendal was about to think of something to reply when the music suddenly stopped and went to the mike.

"Hello clubbers of LA!!!!" He shouted and continued talking to the mostly drunk crowd.

_"YOU'RE IN A CLUB?!?!?!?" _she shouted. Kendal winced at her tone,_ "What the Hell did you do with Katie?? She better be somewhere safe!!!"_

"Yeah, don't worry! We dropped her off at a daycare place! See? I'm not all that irresponsible!"

There was a silence on the other end before his mother continued.

_"You go get your sister __**right now**__ and come __**straight home.**__ I am never letting you out on your own again, Kendal Tyler Knight!!!!!!" _Kendal had never heard his mother scream so loud before.

"Yes, Ma'am…" he mumbled, hanging his head.

_"And by the way, all three of you are grounded until further notice! Which is quite possibly until your grandchildren are in college!!!"_ He had expected this, so there was no protesting. He hoped that Carlos and James kept their mouths shut, even though she wasn't actually their mother.

"I'll be home in twenty," he sighed, about to hang up the phone.

_"Make it fifteen."_ The line went dead before he press 'end'.

Running over to his friends, both of whom were now on their third drink, Kendal rolled his eyes at how incredibly stupid they were being.

"Nope, not for sixteen-year-olds," he grabbed the bottles out of his friends hands and threw them in the nearest trashcans. The two women they were with snorted in disgust and stalked away.

"Dude!!" they shouted, somehow perfectly in sync.

"Jig's up. My mom knows, and if we're not home in fifteen minutes, she will probably hang us from the ceiling. Let's go!"

Carlos and James' expressions suddenly turned to ones of horror as they sprinted out the door after Kendal.

"How'd she find out?!" James shouted as Kendal jammed the key in the ignition.

"Um, are you deaf?" he replied, pressing the pedal to the floor, "A freaking atomic bomb could have gone off in there, and nobody would hear it! They'd just suddenly find themselves dead! And that DJ definitely didn't help."

Both Carlos and James slumped back in their seats, starting to see why Kendal had been so reluctant to join them.

Pulling up to the bright daycare building, Kendal leaped out of the car and returned insanely fast with his very pissed-off younger sister.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU FOR KEEPING ME IN THAT HELL-HOLE!!!" she screamed as she fastened her seat belt.

"Okay first, twelve-year-olds do _not_ need to use those words, and second, Mom will already be on top of the killing process," Kendal spoke, passing cars as he maneuvered his way through traffic.

"I can't believe that you're so ignorant that you actually think people my age still have clean mouths." She rolled her eyes and frowned to show her anger.

"Kids these days…" Carlos muttered under his breath.

"Excuse me?" Katie retorted, "Who was the one drinking beer five years before he was legally allowed to?!?!"

"Whatever!" He breathed, sounding like a valley girl in the process.

That was the end of the conversation. For the rest of the ride, nobody said a word; Katie because she was too mad, and the boys because they feared all that would come out would be a nervous squeak. In a matter of fifteen minutes, they had gone from men in a club to terrified little boys.

The record of fail had just been broken.

*****

"What were you _thinking?!?!?_" Carlos, Kendal, and James cowered in shame. If they had learned one thing that night, it was that they would never _ever_ go near a club again… at least, not until it was legal.

"What if you had gotten caught? You could have gone to jail! I can't believe any of you! I thought I could trust you, but apparently I was wrong." She sighed, trying to ignore the smell of alcohol. She couldn't tell who it was coming from, and she didn't intend to find out.

"Mom, I'm so sorry. I'll never do it again, I swear!" Kendal exclaimed trying to lighten the punishment he knew was inevitable.

"Sorry isn't good enough, young man," her voice was stern, as was her expression, "And I'll deal with the three of you later. Now go to your room and stay there."

The three boys nodded and slowly made their way to the door to their bedroom, all of them wishing they could take back the whole night. But, unfortunately, they couldn't.

And even if they could, they wouldn't… they couldn't wait to tell everybody in Minnesota they'd been to an actual bar!

*****

_The little boy crouched down behind the boxes he was hiding behind, trying not to giggle. Hide and seek was his favorite game, as it was for most five-year-olds. He heard the door swing and open and held his breath, but began to laugh despite his efforts._

_ Two strong arms held picked him up around his waist, and the little boy braced himself to get tickled, just like every other time he was found. However, this time was different. His eyes widened as he found himself held up against the wall, his feet dangling._

_ "You sick little bastard!" The little boy didn't know what these words meant. He wasn't sick, and he had never heard the last word before. But the tone of the voice that said these words sent tears streaming down the five-year-old's face. _

_ "What did I do?" he cried, trying to wiggle free from the huge hand that was now holding him tightly against the flower-print walls._

_ But there was no answer, and the hand confining the boy suddenly withdrew, leaving him to fall to the floor. Glancing up, he saw that in the hand there was now a belt, raised in the air. The little boy whimpered._

_ "Daddy?" he began to shrink away as the belt was raised higher, then finally it began its fast decent…._

Logan sat strait up in bed, breathing hard. The room was black aside from the moonlight that peeked through the curtains near his bed. He put his head in his hands as he tried to will away the memory that he wished he didn't still remember after eleven years.

Grabbing his watch on the bedside table, he pressed the button that illuminated the time: 4:13 AM.

Sighing and telling his heart to slow the heck down, Logan slowly stood up, trying not to fall over in the process, and made his way to the kitchen sink to grab some water.

Upon entering the room he noticed that the light was on and wondered who would have been up at this hour. He opened his mouth to say something, but started coughing instead, and the person's head snapped up.

Linda breathed a sigh of relief as she saw her son awake, regardless of the hour. She immediately stood up from where she was seated and engulfed him in a hug worthy of a Hallmark card.

"Mom, I told you not to come…" he whispered, "I don't want you to get hurt!"

"You didn't actually think I would listen, did you?" She smiled, though it was a sad one, and pulled back, taking in her son's appearance.

His usually neat hair was a mess, his face pale as the moon in the nighttime sky. She could both see and hear how much difficulty he was having breathing. Regardless of the fact that it was seventy degrees outside the walls of the apartment, he was shivering like it was minus five. **(a/n: Fahrenheit) **

"What about your boss? He's gonna freak if you're gone for long." Linda knew that her son was trying to protect her, but she wasn't going to have a repeat of Colorado.

"Then let him. I'm not leaving until you're safe." Pulling him close, she sighed as she realized that that may never happen.

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Alrighty then!! That is chapter three.... and waaaayyyy different than originally intended.... I let my evil side show through there and I do not feel good about having to write than one little snippet but it had to start somewhere soo....... that's what happened. Well, I hope you liked it, and whether you liked it, hated it, want to ay hi, whatever, please click the little green button!!!!!!!! And again, if you have an issue with the swearing thing then tell me and I will edit those particular words out... :D You guys rock!!!!

P.S.... longest chapter so far!!! Wooo!!! haha


	4. Chapter 4

_I'M SORRY!!!!!! SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY!!!!!!!!! I swear I thought I updated it... and I actually was going to upload chapter 5 and then I saw that there was no chapter four and I was like SHIT so SORRY!!!!!! AND OHMYGOSH YOU GUYS ARE SOOO AMAZING WITH THE REVIEWS!!!! PLZ KEEP IT UP!! and I know that I haven't been very review-deserving lately, what the like ages in between but please? I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! I hope you like you like chapter 4!!!!!_

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"Good morning!" Mrs. Knight called cheerfully to the two boys seated in the living room.

"Hey, Mom!" Kendal called back, taking a bite of his Cheerios. Logan gave a little wave, focusing on the episode of psych playing on the TV.

"Where're Carlos and James?" she scoped the room, half expecting them to jump out of the swirly slide and scream in her face. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Dealing with their first hangover." Kendal smirked as he said this. He heard Logan laugh quietly and mutter, "Morons," under his breath. Kendal had to agree.

"Well, that's what they get," she tried to put on the 'tough mom' look. Realizing she was about to fail epically, she switched the topic.

"So, how're you feeling?" she asked, facing Logan.

"Better. Ish." He shrugged, turning away from the TV now showing the commercial break, "And, uh, thanks for last night…" he rubbed his neck, feeling strangely embarrassed by the situation. He wasn't sure why… Mrs. Knight had practically been a second mom to him for the nearly five years he had known Kendal.

"Well that's good… I should probably check to see if you're temperatures gone down at all…" she muttered, trying once again to find the thermometer.

Logan groaned. "Do I have to? Having that thing in my mouth is so annoying." Kendal suppressed a laugh at the wording, and Logan sent him a mini-glare, "Pervert."

"Takes one to know one, my friend." Kendal threw his arm in front of his face to block the pillow that flew toward him in response.

"Boys…" Mrs. Knight whispered to herself, shaking her head, "Yes, Logan you do. It's not going to kill you."

"Fine…" he huffed as he took the thermometer from her hand and dramatically shoved it into his mouth, frowning as he did so.

"Thank you," she paused for a moment before asking, "Any plans for today?"

Kendal shrugged, "Probably the pool. And Jo. More pool. More Jo. Oh yeah and that tutor guy. Mr. Mitchell, right?"

Logan nodded, trying to seem as uncaring as possible. The thermometer beeped, and he took it out, not bothering to look before he handed it to Mrs. Knight.

"So, Mr. Mitchell, is it? Huh. Coincidence," she muttered, staring at the numbers looking back at her: 102.4.

"Yeah… coincidence."

****

Linda wandered through the aisles of the grocery store, trying to find everything on the list that had been lying on the counter at the apartment.

'Red Bull…' she thought, seeing it scrawled in Carlos' handwriting, 'Probably a very bad idea.' She hesitated, judging whether or not to place the pack of cans into her shopping cart. Deciding that she didn't want to have to deal with the boys glaring at her and going back to the store to get it anyway, the pack of red bull was tossed into the basket.

'So next is… gummy bears. Red Bull _and_ gummy bears? I don't think so.' She scribbled completely over that item, trying not to think of the result of the combination in four teenage hockey players.

As she was beginning to read the next item on the list (Dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets… who would have known?), she bumped into somebody going the opposite direction.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed, glancing up.

"No, it was completely my-" the man was cut off as each of them saw the other's face.

There was a brief moment of silence before Linda broke it.

"Why are you here, Derek?" her voice was cold as ice; hard as steel.

"What does it matter to you, bitch?_ You aren't in charge of me."_

"_What does it matter?!"_ she tried to keep her voice quiet, not wanting to attract attention, "Don't you think it would matter that my child has been hurt by _you _more times than I even know? And, even though I tried to make sure he was safe, he's not anymore. Because of _you_. That's what it matters."

"You've always been dramatic, haven't you? Maybe it should be you trying to find a job in this place. God knows the kids got no talent." Derek brushed off her lecture, just as he had for years in the past.

"Doesn't it bother you?" she inquired, a look of disgust on her face when he shrugged and face remained uncaring, "He is your _own son_."

Derek laughed, "No he's not. I'm not _stupid_, Linda," he watched as her eyes widened in surprise, and he glared, "How long did you think you could get away with it? I have to give you credit, you kept your little secret for five years. It's pretty good."

She didn't try to deny it. He was right.

"So why take it out in Logan?" she whispered, "Why not me, the one who actually did something wrong?"

"Because he's the proof," he growled, "Every time I looked at that stupid kid, all I could see was my moron of a brother. And you, the bitch who betrayed me. A mistake." He took a step closer to Linda, a look of pure evil on his face.

"He was only five. _Five years old,_ Derek." Before any more could be said, Linda's cell phone began to ring. Without hesitating, she flipped it open and held it to her ear.

"Hello?" she answered, trying to sound like nothing was wrong.

_"Hey, Mom, Kendal said to ask you to get some popsicles. Katie ate the last one, and a popsicle-less Kendal is… well, not good."_

"Sure, Logan no problem." She covered her mouth as she realized that she had just told Derek that her son was on the other end. She tried to back away and get the phone out of his reach. He grabbed it before she could.

_"Thanks, m-"_ he was cut off by Derek before he could say anything.

"Shut up, you little ass," Derek sent a vocal stab through the phone, trying to get a reaction.

_"Uhh…"_ there was rustling on the other line.

'Probably the kid going to another room,' he decided, growing impatient.

"Hurry it up, kid." He heard a door slam, and then the talking continued.

_"Why the Hell__do you have my mom's phone? I swear, if you so much as touched her-"_

"Oh, shut up," Derek interrupted, sneering audibly, "I haven't done anything, you brat. Yet."

Everything on the other end was quiet, so that Derek couldn't even hear Logan breathing. Derek nearly laughed. Dumb kid probably wasn't. Dramatic, just like his mother.

_"You wouldn't." _Derek could hear shaking in the boy's voice, and he smirked, glad to know that it was he who had caused it.

"Oh, but I would," he replied nonchalantly, "Because you see, _son_, you broke the number one rule. You told somebody."

_"What?"_ the one word was full of many things: shock, worry, anger, and all it did was fuel Derek's fire, _"She's known since I was twelve, and you know that. The only reason she even knows is because __**you**__ screwed up."_

"Then explain, exactly, why she's here now," Derek kept his voice cheerful, knowing that it would make the kid mad.

_"I haven't seen her for three months!_" Logan shouted, and then continued, more quietly, _"Is it so horrible that a mom wanted to see her son?"_

"So it's simply a coincidence that she arrives a mere day after I do?"

_"Well, not exactly…"_

"Oh?"

_"Not because I told her you were here! She just freaked out about my grades."_

"You know, kid, I'm _very_ good at knowing when a piece of shit like you is lying," Derek hoped that he was making the kid afraid, "So you better tell your mommy to watch her back, otherwise…" he let his threat hang then closed the phone.

"Kid's a moron," Derek laughed, tossing the phone carelessly into the cart of its owner, "Just like his father." He released Linda, who he had ended up having to hold away from the phone with his free arm. She gave him her most angry death stare, and his grin merely grew.

"If he's not careful," Derek continued casually, "The kid could end up dead, too. Wouldn't want that to happen, now, would we?"

****

"Logan?" Kendal called, knocking on the now closed door, "Everything ok?"

Logan turned his head toward the door, stuffing his cell phone in his pocket.

"Yeah," he replied blankly, "Everything's great."

'Come on, Logan,' he gave himself a mental pep talk, 'you spent seven years of your life acting twenty-four-seven; you can do better than that!'

"You sure?" he asked again, opening the door.

"Positive." Logan put on a fake smile, hoping his friend wouldn't see right through it.

Kendal looked unsure, but spoke again anyway.

"Well, my mom just took Katie to an audition, and I'm gonna be down at the pool. Carlos and James are in their room, but I'm not sure how…" Kendal paused, trying to find a word better than 'human', "friendly they're gonna be right now."

Logan nodded, and gave a hand motion similar to wave, "See ya." Kendal said the same, and closed the door behind him. Logan sighed in relief, and rushed to the closet to find something other than pajamas. He had to make sure Derek didn't lay a hand on his mother.

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Muahahaha. And I would really LOVE to thank BananaBabe903 for asking me if Logan looked more like his mom or Mr. mitchell, because that TOTALLY gave me the idea for like this whole chapter... so THANKS!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!!!! And thanks for reading, everybody!!! Please review and tell me yay or nay!!!! :):):):)


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the delay in updating... I got grounded again. My b. I'm working on it though, I promise!!! Anyway, thank you guys so much for all your awesome reviews!!! You really keep me going :) Please keep it up!

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Logan looked right and left to make sure that nobody from the same apartment was coming down the hallway. He _really_ didn't want to get caught… that would mean that he would have to go back inside and sit there doing nothing while his mom was in danger.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped out of the doorway toward the elevator. Shivering a little, he hoped that his jeans and jacket wouldn't look too strange in the warm California weather. Of course, people were always doing something strange in the city of Los Angeles, so he didn't worry too much.

Besides, he was too busy worrying about other things.

His mind was going through a million different ways he could get his father out of his life forever, but couldn't seem to come up with anything that wouldn't involve somebody getting hurt. He knew for a fact that Derek wouldn't hesitate to kill anybody he confided in… Logan had made that mistake once before, and he wouldn't let it happen again.

That was why he had to make sure that he got to his mother before his father could do anything to her. Logan sped up his pace as he pictured her going through Derek's torture games, trying to keep breathing evenly. Attracting attention was definitely not a good idea.

After what seemed like an eternity, Logan finally reached the elevator at the end of the hallway. He pressed the down button three times in quick succession, relieved when he heard the little 'ding' signaling that the elevator had conveniently already been on that floor.

The doors seemed to close at the pace of molasses before the little room began to move. Logan willed the cables to move faster, praying that he would make it on time; praying that when the day came to a close his mom would be alive to see the sunset.

****

Linda glared at the man standing in front of her, wanting nothing more than to make him feel the same pain that he had put Logan through. She had always gone by the rule, 'hate is a strong word', but she was absolutely positive that she hated Derek.

"Now, Linda, you and I both know that you're not just here for the fun of it. I suggest you leave before anybody gets hurt." He exaggerated on the last three words, trying to stab a knife of fear into Linda's heart. He couldn't have anybody interfering with his plans.

"I'm not stupid, Derek," Linda responded, "Whether I stay or leave, you will continue to be the same evil man you've always been."

"But you know that I wasn't always this way, don't you?" His voice was eerily pleasant as he reminded her, once again, of that night that had changed everything.

****

"But you know that I wasn't always this way, don't you?" Logan froze the second he heard the voice coming from his right. He would recognize it anywhere, anytime. Preparing to confront the speaker, he began to turn in the direction he had heard the voice coming from.

"Derek, please, we already went over this. What else do you need from me?" Her voice sounded both sad and angry, and Logan was entirely prepared to grab the first heavy thing he saw and throw it at Derek as hard as he could.

As Logan made the final turn before he would be face to face with Derek, they made eye contact. Linda's back was to Logan, so she had no idea that he was there. Derek gave him the slightest, fastest, most evil smile possible and it sent chills down Logan's spine.

"I want to know that answer to a question that I have been thinking about for a long time," he paused for a moment, "If you were given the chance, would you take everything back?"

Logan was confused. Take what back? He immediately stopped his progress down the aisle, wanting to hear more.

"Derek, you know my son is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I would never change what happened that night." Logan was starting to put together all the pieces, but the middle part of the puzzle was still just a big hole.

"Oh, you wouldn't?" Derek raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure? Because my ass of a brother sure regretted it."

Before Logan's mind could process what all of that meant, Linda threw up her hands and sighed in exasperation.

"Fine, ok! I admit it! If I could make it so that none of that happened, I would," her voice was beginning to rise with every word, "I made a _mistake_ that night, and now everyone's life is screwed up because of it! Logan's life, my life, Hell, even you're pathetic existence! Everybody would probably be better off if I had never messed up like I did. So there. You got your answer. Happy?" The last word she spoke was much quieter than the others, ending the biggest lie Linda had ever told. In truth, she wouldn't take back a single thing that she had done. It had given her the greatest thing she could have asked for; that might had given her Logan.

"Oh, I'm thrilled," Derek smiled, a wide and true grin as he gestured behind Linda, "But the "best thing that ever happened to you" might have a different opinion."

Linda spun around, her eyes widened. Her face held an expression of a mixture of fear and sadness.

"Logan, I…" she stopped, unable to find the right words. She could feel tears coming to her eyes as she came to terms with the fact that the relationship she had always felt so lucky to have with her son would probably never be the same, all because of some stupid lie she had come up with to get Derek to shut up.

Logan felt like he was caught in the deepest part of the ocean right in the middle of a massive hurricane. It was like all the waves were throwing him under the water and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get back up. Everything about himself and about his mother that he thought he knew had been proven wrong in a matter of seconds. Every part of him became frozen; he couldn't think, couldn't run away; couldn't even breathe. The only thing he could do was stand there and try to make himself be able to move again.

It took twenty seconds for everything to start working again, but it felt like hours. Logan welcomed the ability to turn around and run away. He knew that he would get strange looks, but he didn't care… he just continued to run as fast he could.

He slammed the doors open and felt the outside air hit him as his converse hit the pavement outside of the little grocery store. Picking up speed, he started down the familiar road to the Palm Woods. He suddenly found himself wishing he was back in Minnesota, where he knew everything so well that he could go somewhere other than home. But here, in LA, Logan didn't have a choice. The apartment all of Big Time Rush shared was the only place left to go.

The road was short, seeing as the small grocery store was only about a half-mile away from the Palm Woods. Even so, Logan's chest was on fire and there were black dots playing tag across his vision. He tried to ignore it as he flew into the lobby, but he was beginning to regret ever leaving apartment 2J only about ten minutes ago. It was hard to believe how insanely fast everything had happened; nearly impossible. And, yet, there he was, running up the stairs and away from everything.

He burst through the door and onto the second floor, glad that he hadn't decided to take the elevator. He found his way to the Big Time Rush apartment and fumbled to unlock it. Swinging the door open, he found the living room empty. Everything was completely silent.

He slammed the door shut and looked at the counter and saw a message scrawled on notebook paper: Went to pool, be back later- Carlos & James.

Logan sighed, thankful that he was alone. Flicking the lock behind him, he slid down to the floor so that his back was against the door. Any energy he had had was suddenly gone, and he leaned his head back against the hard surface.

When the tears came, he didn't try to stop them.

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Well. That ended up being pretty depressing... hm. Sorry if it was too rushed or short, too. But regardless,did anybody else think 'Run, Forrest, Run!' toward the end? Cuz that was seriously all that was going through my mind... meh, who knows. Maybe I'm just crazy! ;) Haha life's better that way, what can I say? Anyway, please tell me what you think!! The little green button REALLY likes to get clicked... hint, hint! Hahaha I love you guys!!!!!!!


	6. Chapter 6

I AM A FAILURE. AND I AM SORRY. Do I have an excuse this time? The answer: why bother? THERE IS NO GOOD EXCUSE FOR GOING FIVE FRICKEN WEEKS WITHOUT UPDATING!!!! SOOOO SOOORRRRRYYYYY!!!!! OK. Now that my moment of self-loathing is over.......... no, I am not dead, and no, this story has not been abandoned!! Woohooo!!!! And BY THE WAY.... YOU GUYS FREAKING ROCK!!!! 97 BLOODY REVIEWS!! (see that little Britishness there? pretty damn awesome, right? haha) Can we maybe get to 100....? ANYWAYZ...... I hope you like it!!! I know it's not very long... but it has a hell of a lot of information and took a LONG TIME to write. I know that there are still probably a TON of holes that ned to be filled, and I will get to those when they are ready to be... err... filled I guess haha but regardless enjoy!!

Disclaimer: Yup. You caught me. I'm the owner of TeenNick going undercover as a teenage oboist.... RIGHT.

"Hey, Carlos, check it out!" James whispered, though his tone was similar to what it would be if he had been yelling. He lightly hit his friend's arm and pointed across the pool, where Kendal could be seen talking to Jo, a loopy grin on his face.

Carlos sighed dramatically grinned, "James, it appears as though our dear friend has fallen into the pink, heart-filled, abyss of _love_," He dropped the grin and continued in an overly-serious tone, "We have truly lost him to its evil powers."

James nodded, remembering how Kendal hadn't even noticed that the two of them had arrived at the pool, even though they had waved _and_ said hi. LOUDLY.

"I think we need to stop this madness," he spoke evilly, even adding the effect of tapping his fingers together under his chin.

Carlos raised an eyebrow, giving his friend an odd glance, and said nothing in return.

"What? I saw it in a movie once!"

**(page break but not with asterisks because the genius author just realized that they don't show up online)**

Linda fumbled to fit the key into the lock of the Palm Woods apartment, trying to convince herself that everything would eventually be OK. All she needed to do was tell Logan the truth, and everything would be the way it had been. They would get through all of this together.

Right?

Still breathing somewhat hard from sprinting faster than she had ever before to catch up with her son, she swung the door open and rushed through the entrance, not bothering to close it, and not caring when it smashed into the wall in its curved path.

The apartment was empty and silent as she stepped inside, and she had begun to think that Logan had gone somewhere else, though where she did not know, when she heard a muffled sound coming from behind a closed door. She dropped her keys on the floor subconsciously as she quickly made her way across the room.

Reaching her hand out to turn the brass knob, Linda was shocked when the door flew open before she could touch it. She pulled her hand away slowly as she saw Logan standing before her in the entryway, with an expression on his face that made her heart feel like it was breaking into a million pieces.

"Logan, I didn't-" he cut her off before she could finish speaking, something he didn't do often. Linda braced herself for what would probably the most horrible minutes in her lifetime.

"Didn't what?!" Linda nearly recoiled at his tone, "Didn't want any of this to happen? Didn't think I'd find out like this? Didn't think I'd find out at all? Well, you were _wrong!_"

"You're right." The small sentence was hardly even there, barely a whisper that floated across the small space between mother and son.

Logan stood in silence, not knowing how to respond to such an unexpected answer. An answer that he liked to hear, but that still caught him by surprise.

Linda took advantage of the moment of dead air to explain her response before her son could find the words he was seeking.

"I _didn't _want you to find out like this, because I didn't want _this_ to happen!" she exclaimed exasperatedly, knowing that she was stating the obvious, "I didn't want you to think things that weren't true, and I didn't want to hurt you."

Logan scoffed at her statement, "You've sure done a _damn good job of that_. Although, I'm pretty sure I can tell the difference between true and false." He glared and made to close the door but was stopped by Linda catching it before he could.

"Logan, please," there was a desperate tone in her voice, an almost begging him to listen to her. Upon hearing it, Logan dropped his hand from where he had been closing the doorway. HE didn't turn to face her, but heard her all the same.

"When I was nineteen, I met Derek," she began tentatively, preparing to unveil what had been shrouded in secrecy half of her life, "At the time, I thought he was my saving grace. He was twenty-two, just out of college, handsome, and sweet. Anything I could have asked for. For two years, he was my everything. Then, one night after a party, we both came home drunk." Linda sighed, not wanting to continue. This was the night that had changed everything; the one that had destroyed many lives. But selfishly, she was grateful for it.

"I didn't know what I was doing, or what he was doing, but followed him to a room in the back of the apartment anyway. I was excited, and nervous, and buzzed as hell, so I just went with it. The next morning, waking up, I felt a strange sense of accomplishment for moving into new territory… but then I looked beside me and the man I saw wasn't Derek; it was his brother." She paused, trying to will herself to go on. On the other side of the only slightly open door, Logan couldn't help but think how similar it all was to a soap opera that he, Carlos, James, and Kendal always made fun of. Next time they laughed at something like that, would he be able to join them? Or would he only be able to think about how closely it resembled his own life?

"Anyway, the days passed on, with nobody but Mark, that's Derek's brother, and I knowing," Logan was taken out of his thoughts as his mother's voice began speaking again, "I could hardly take the guilt every time I saw either of them, knowing that I had to lie every time I talked to the man I loved. About a week and a half later, I found out I was pregnant. There were so many things going on in my head… I was thrilled that I would get to become a mother. I was anxious on how I would tell my parents; after all, they thought I was too young. But I was also completely terrified, because now I knew that I couldn't keep on pretending. I still tried, though. That same day, at 6:00 when Derek came home from work, I did the only thing I could think of to keep my secret and still have him believe it never happened." She didn't go farther into that particular event; she didn't need to. She had implied far enough.

"Two weeks later, I told Derek that I was going to have a baby. I can't even begin to tell you how overjoyed I was when he was excited as I had been. Four months later, we got married. Five more, on December 16, 1994, I had you," Logan reacted slightly to the mentioning of him, but remained quiet as Linda carried on, "I was sure that I had done it; I had gotten away with my secret. Or so I thought. The first few years went by without flaw. We were both adapting to being parents, but it was a lifestyle that we both enjoyed. After awhile, though, I began to notice that he had begun to change. He had once been an extremely patient, kind man, but he snapped at little things, got angry at things that didn't matter, and, on some occasions, was simply mean. I blew it off as just trying to get used to having a young child in the house, and thought nothing of it. I was stupid.

"About five years after Derek and I had married, his strange behavior began to occur more often. He started acting strange around you, and around me, and I tried to convince myself that nothing was wrong. When Mark suddenly died in a freak accident while he and Derek were on a fishing trip, it became harder, but for some reason I held on to the fantasy that everything would be OK. But, of course, it wasn't. For seven years, I was too much of an idiot to see what he was doing to you," There was a brief but uncomfortable silence as Logan relived brief memories of his tainted past, trying to shake them off and focus on his mother's words, "I feel like such a completely terrible, naive person for not being able to see past the front that my own husband and _twelve-year-old son_ put up to hide the truth from me. I just accepted the cover-up stories you told me about hockey, or football, or whatever story you came up with to hide that secret of your own, while I thought mine was safe and sound in the back of my mind. It took you nearly dying for me to finally snap out of my fantasy and face reality. After that, I divorced Derek and took you to Minnesota, where I thought we would never see him again. But, again, I was wrong." There was nearly a half a minute of quiet until Linda spoke the words that summed up the explanation she had given.

"I'm sorry." The words were as strong and truthful as anything Linda had ever said before, and she hoped that her son would be able to detect that, and maybe forgive her. She knew, though, that after everything, she wouldn't have forgiven herself.

Logan didn't say anything at first, although he was tempted to slam the door shut and yell, "You should be!" because, after all, it was the perfect situation. But, on the other hand, he was supposed to be the smart one, right? Wasn't that typically associated with being mature? So, he but his tongue and suppressed the words in his mind. Instead, he responded to his mother's story with another question:

"If you meant everything you just said, then why the hell would you tell Derek that you felt something else?" Linda sighed inwardly. She had hoped that he wouldn't ask, but at the same time had known that he would. She hoped that he would believe her, as dumb as she knew that the answer was.

"I knew that he wouldn't be satisfied with any other answer, so I gave him the one he wanted. I just wanted him to stop being so… douche-y." To Linda's relief, there was a short, barely audible laugh from the other side of the door.

Meanwhile, Logan was having conflicting opinions. How could he be sure that his mother was telling the truth? After all, she had been lying to him for the sixteen years he'd been alive, and seventeen years to everybody else. But then again, she otherwise had never flat out lied to him. The emotion in her voice seemed genuine enough. He knew, though, that the trust between them had been damaged forever. He knew that even once he had forgiven her, even twenty, thirty years from that moment, he would never forget. This event would be forever branded in both of their minds.

But even so, he emerged from behind the door to face his mother. He looked her dead in the eye, into the familiar face, and tried to see what he had seen before that day. He tried to find the comfort that he had found in all the years when she was the only one in the world who had cared about him. He tried to find the smile that had always made his life just a little bit better. But, as much as he looked, he could only see a stranger in his own mother. But regardless, he accepted the hug that she pulled him into and held back the tears that were threatening to fall.

He put back on the mask that he had his behind for seven years of his life, because she could never know how he felt; she could never, ever know that her words that seemed like years ago had hurt him a thousand times more than Derek ever could.

Because, eventually, the bruises would fade and the nightmares might someday stop, but the scar that one sentence had left would never, ever go away, and the words would always be there:

_"I would take everything back."_

ANOTHER CHAPTER WITH A DEPRESSING ENDING. Shit, I need to work on that... and on using unnecessary cuss words.... but that is beside the point!!! Well, hopefully some questions were answered, and a lot of you are probably thinking the same thing that I am: 'Dang, Linda is stupid!!!' and, yeah, I agree.... I guess that I sort of screwed myself by leading into her being totally oblivious for seven years because thinking about it now that'd be VERY difficult to manage.... oh well. It's fiction. And, another thing that has actually been bothering me since like the first chapter but I kept on forgetting to change: Why on earth do Logan and his mom still have the same last name as Derek? And, my friends, I am working on that..... haven't thought of a sensible solution but ya know what I will think of something!! Huzzah!!! Haha and also... sorry about page breaks in previous chapters because I wrote them as asterisks on Microsoft but APPARENTLY has decided that they won't let that work.... *growls angrily* and so I am now the culprit of TWO things that drive me crazy: Unorganized scene switches (SOO ANNOYING!! RAWR!!) and having a REEALLY long time in between updates.... I am very sorry for both, and I can't even begin to tell you how much I LOVE YOU GUYS for being such faithful readers/reviewers.... YOU GUYS ROCK MY FUZZY SOCKS!!! And if you could pretty please with icing on top review, it would make a certain oboist very very happy.... *wink wink, nudge nudge* AND, as was pointed out to me by Ammy14k, the button is now blue, not green. Haha I feel like such an idiot.... ah well. Such is the life of a blonde..... haha but regardless of the color, please click on the link it supplies!!!! LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**_I'M A MONSTER. I can't believe that I went over a month without updating. I feel like a pooblehead and a nimtard :( SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY x 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000^100,000. And then some. But I'm back now and I have another chapter! It's kinda short but I felt like I needed to end it there so sorry again. But I hope you like it! AND many many many thank yous to blindkitten who supplied the idea for the next major part of the plot :D I couldn't have done it without you and you rock my socks. And they're neon so yay :D Alrighty so enjoy! _**

**_p.s. hey guess what? I don't own Big Time Rush. BUT I do own Derek. And sort of Linda. Cuz she has to exist for Logan to exist buuttt you know what I mean._**

**_p.s. again: for those of you who got an alert as an update... sorry! I found a huge typo and it was bothering me SO this is just a minorly edited (1 sentance added and one word changed) version of chapter 7 :)_**

"Linda?" Janet Knight turned briefly to the woman in the passenger seat of the red Suburban before again focusing her eyes on the road.

"Yeah?" Linda snapped out of her reverie upon hearing her name, centering her attention to her red-haired friend behind the steering wheel.

Janet hesitated before continuing, "Are… are you and Logan alright?" She subconsciously narrowed her eyebrows, a nervous habit she had developed over the years.

Linda let a tiny sigh escape her lips, debating how to answer the question. As a single mom herself Janet was quite adept at reading lies, Linda knew; but she also knew, with shame upon herself, that not all mothers were as good as Janet.

"We had a fight the other day," she finally answered with a quiet voice, "And it was bad. But I think that maybe we'll be okay again after awhile." It had been three days since their argument, and the mother and son had had very minimal contact with each other since the event.

Janet pondered this for a moment; the words 'think' and 'maybe' stuck out to her. What had the dispute been about that could cause Linda to think that her relationship with Logan had been damaged to that extent?

"I'm sure that you two will be just fine."

BTRBTRBTRBTRBTRBTRBTRBTRBTR

"I don't understand how they're still together!" Carlos practically yelled to James, who was shaking his head in bewilderment, equally perplexed. They were standing once again near the pool, staring (or, really, it was closer to glaring) at the newly deemed Palmwood's Cutest Officially Unofficial Couple, Kendal and Jo.

"I know!" he replied, throwing his hands in the air dramatically, "We've done _everything!_ Who doesn't breakup after worms crawl through their smoothie straws, they get drenched _seven times _when they push each other into the pool (even though it was us, of course, but that doesn't really matter in the scheme of things) _and _after the guy's little sister shoots the girl with a paintball gun three times, and a slime-filled water gun four? I mean, really? WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO?"

Carlos sighed, "I dunno, man. Maybe they're just meant to be, or whatever crap girls say these days about "feelings" and stuff." He added air quotes for emphasis before crossing his arms angrily across his chest, looking very much like a frustrated toddler in the process.

"Or maybe," a sarcastic voice came from behind the two boys, and they jumped, "They're not morons and figured out that it was you two." James and Carlos spun around to see Logan giving them a look that basically said, "They're not idiots, but guess what? I know who is!" although there was humor in his expression.

"Dude, I can't believe your mom actually let you leave the apartment!" Carlos shouted in disbelief. Only three days ago, she had been about to drag her son away to the nearest hospital, so it was a surprise that the usually protective Linda would allow Logan to go anywhere until he was back at a hundred percent.

Logan smirked at his friends in response, "Hello to you to, Carlos. And she didn't." He grinned, "As far as she's concerned, I'm back at the apartment watching TV or something."

James feigned shock at this statement, "Carlos, did you hear that? Our little Logie's grown a backbone! He's finally broken a rule!"

Logan considered the irony in that statement. It was, of course, hidden irony- only three people in the world would recognize it. And if he had anything to do about it, it would stay that way.

Leaving these thoughts behind, he was about to respond with some annoying comment, when a man's voice interrupted them.

"Logan!" Upon hearing his name, Logan spun around immediately, facing the person who had called him. His breath hitched in his throat as he realized that it was Derek.

"Hey, glad to see you're feeling better!" Derek smiled, with a kind, pretend expression on his face.

'What the hell?' Logan thought in confusion, 'He was supposed to have left an hour ago!' Seeing his confused look, Derek responded with an almost undetectable hint of evil.

"I had to stay late to finish some paperwork. Boring, right?" He grinned a fake grin before continuing, "So, anyway, while I'm here, do you have some time? I have some things that I need to catch you up on from the days you missed."

'Oh, shit,' Logan thought. He contemplated his options; would it be possible to make a break for it? Considering this, it seemed like it might work. About to accept this as the best option, he saw something glint in the sun. Taking a second look, his breath caught in his throat. Derek had a gun. If Logan tried to run, he'd be dead in a second.

Taking a breath before continuing, he hoped that James and Carlos would blow off his hesitance as being embarrassed at having a tutor.

"Sure, why not?" He shrugged, forcing a smile.

"Great!" He clapped his hands together for emphasis, "I just have to get some stuff out of my car, and then we'll head over to the room."

Logan nodded, then held a hand up in a gesture to Carlos and James, "See ya."

"Later," and "See ya," came in response as Logan and Derek departed from the pool. Logan realized that the other two guys hadn't said a word throughout the whole conversation. Glancing back at his two friends, Logan saw them discussing some apparently important topic while looking/ glaring at Kendal and Jo and understood immediately.

However, the ridiculous thought of Carlos and James' crazy antics couldn't distract Logan from the growing fear beginning to develop inside of him. Derek wasn't speaking, but was staring straight ahead, as if Logan wasn't even there. Somehow the silence made the situation that much worse, building up suspense.

Logan swallowed, trying to keep his imagination down as he and Derek continued to walk in silence through the sunlit parking lot. His attempts were in vain, however. He knew from experience that Derek had everything he could possibly need inside the briefcase that he was currently holding. There were so many hidden compartments in that stupid thing, Logan thought, that he could hide a small grenade in there and he would get away with it. So, of course, if Derek was going to his car… then he needed his car.

Peeking back one last time at the Palm Woods Pool, Logan tried to keep his expression irrelevant to how afraid he was inside. To his surprise, he found himself making direct eye contact with none other than Kendal. Logan quickly looked away, hoping that the blonde hadn't detected anything in his face.

Lost in his thoughts, Logan nearly crashed into Derek when the older man stopped suddenly in front of a small, raven-black Toyota. The car seemed new; there wasn't a single scratch, and everything from the steering wheel to the tires gleamed proudly.

Hands in pockets, Logan began to walk around the car to the passenger side once Derek had unlocked the door. To his surprise, a strong arm halted his progress. Logan watched in confusion as the trunk door was thrown open.

"Get in," Derek commanded, his voice harder than steel.

"Are you crazy?" Logan asked in a stunned tone, previous fear forgotten, "There is no way I'm getting in that trunk!"

"I'm sorry to hear that, Logan."

Logan's eyes grew wide and he stumbled backwards as Derek pulled out the ominous handgun, cocking it as he did so. A barely noticeable wicked smile grew across the older man's face at seeing terror in the teenager's eyes.

Derek watched as Logan started to run, trying to use the assortment of cars as a shield, and was amused by his attempt, knowing that it would fail. One shot was all it would take; Derek never missed.

He raised his gun.

And fired.

**_CLIFFIE! I think that that may actually be my first legit cliff hanger ending... I feel accomplished. :D ANYWAY. I hope you guys liked it and maybe review...? Pweeeaaase? Because it's a really nice thing to do... (: I'll supply virtual high-fives for all who do! :D_**


	8. Chapter 8

Umm, hi there! *cowers away from knives being thrown in her direction* I'm back! So, this time, I actually do have a semi excuse... but that's only for the last three weeks and is a very long story so I won't bore you with the details! BUT anyway, I can't even BEGIN to tell you all how sorry I am for going 46 days without an update... I feel like a Godzilla. an extremely evil one. Forgive me, please! And for not responding to any reviews... I pinky promise I will this time though if maybe you might want to possibly review...? I know I don't deserve it, but hey, you can't blame a girl for trying! Anyhoo... on with chapter 8! Disclaimer: In case the point wasn't clear enough before... I DONT FREAKING OWN BIG TIME RUSH! Although it would be nice(:

In all his life, Logan didn't think he'd ever felt pain like he felt the moment Derek's bullet hit him. He didn't realize that he had fired his gun until he felt his shoulder explode in pain; he should've known that Derek was smart enough to put the silencer on.

As he fell to his knees, he could think of nothing except for the fiery pain spreading to the whole left side of his body. God, it hurt, so bad… His breath came in shuddering gasps as he struggled to stay conscious. His hand was pressed against the wound in his shoulder, and the feel of his own blood running between his fingers made him feel like he was going to be sick.

"Get up." Derek's voice was hard and merciless, just as it had been for eleven years. Looking up, Logan saw that the expression was identical to the tone.

Deciding he didn't need another punishment, Logan grit his teeth and grabbed the red Mercedes on his left for support as he painfully pulled himself up from his kneeling position on the asphalt. His head swam as he straightened up, but he forced himself to keep his eyes open and pray that somebody saw him. He was done with covering up for Derek; the consequences didn't matter to him anymore.

Now fully upright, Logan felt his once white t-shirt cling to him. Part of him wanted to start panicking; he could die of blood loss. Maybe that's why Derek had aimed for his shoulder instead of a more lethal target… he wanted to watch him suffer.

Logan took a deep breath and tried to erase that mental picture from his mind. He was shaken from his thoughts by the sight of a figure exiting the Palm Woods Pool gates. His eyes widened when he recognized the figure: _Carlos._

The two locked eyes when Carlos, too, recognized Logan. He grinned a little and waved, having no idea what was going on. Slowly, Logan lifted the hand covering his shoulder, and in the process exposed his newly red shirt underneath his black jacket. He saw Carlos' expression change to one of confusion and fear as he realized that his best friend was hurt. There was barely a half second of hesitation before the helmeted boy began sprinting across the parking lot towards Logan and Derek.

Derek, upon seeing this, immediately spun to face Logan. Without pausing for a moment, he lifted his gun and brought it down hard on the back of Logan's head. He went down without a cry, T WHICH POINT Derek dragged him the remaining ten feet or so to the open trunk door. By this time, Carlos was getting closer.

Seeing that he didn't have much time, the older man threw the boy whom he once called his son into the little space, and promptly slammed the door with a loud BANG!

In the next few seconds, Derek was in the driver's seat with the key in the ignition. He stomped his foot down on the gas, and sped away, just as Carlos had thrown himself at the car. The sixteen year old crashed to the hard ground in defeat, watching with sorrow as the Toyota careened past the other cars and out of the parking lot.

Carlos couldn't believe it. As he pushed himself into a kneeling position, he realized that he was shaking. Upon further inspection, he found tears beginning to leak out of his brown eyes as well. He remained still for a moment, trying to figure out why he hadn't noticed something earlier. He had noticed that his friend's behavior had changed recently, but he had always written it off as being sick.

He never imagined that he'd been this wrong. None of them could have. And as he sat there, on the hot pavement with the sun's rays hitting him, he wondered how they called themselves his best friends.

Wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt, Carlos brought himself to his feet. His sadness and regret had begun to morph into anger and hatred, two emotions which the usually happy-go-lucky boy had never really associated himself with feeling. His chest felt like it was burning with the intensity of these new-found feelings towards the man that he had once respected.

Carlos swallowed, realizing that he had to call 911. His stomach flipped over and over again; he had never imagined that any of the people close to him would ever be under these circumstances. He never thought that he'd be the friend dialing that emergency number with a life on the line. To Carlos, 911 was something that other people used, in stories, or on the news. It had never really been all that real to him. Until now.

Snapping himself out of his reverie, he dug into his pocket and yanked out the phone. Once he could see it, he realized it was Logan's iPhone, the one he'd won in a contest four years before. It had been right after he'd first moved to Minnesota; he'd entered an essay in to a magazine and won second place for it. It was the original one, the one with a silver back. There wasn't a single part of the phone that wasn't scratched in some way, seeing as he dropped it all the time. That was, in fact, the entire reason Carlos was in the parking lot anyway. Logan had dropped his phone, and Carlos was returning it to him.

It had seemed enough like an accident, but now, it could be anything. Had he dropped it on purpose, so that someone would come out to give it back, only to find out what was going on? But then that would mean that Logan would be without any form of communication whatsoever.

'Come on, Carlos, focus!' The boy mentally scolded himself for once again getting off track of what he needed to do. Quickly, he unlocked the phone and started dialing.

"What's taking him so long?" James muttered impatiently under his breath. Carlos had left to return Logan's phone ten minutes ago, and still had yet to return. Kendal/Jo watching wasn't quite as entertaining when you didn't have a partner in crime. He yanked the bush hat off of his head and dropped the binoculars on the ground, deciding that he might as well get some tanning time in if his friend was going to take this long to return.

He stood up casually and made his over to the chairs that had almost become owned by the four boys of Big Time Rush. It wasn't like they had territorial behavior over them; they had just sort of become theirs over the months that they had spent at the Palm Woods.

Putting his hands behind his head, James plopped down into the plastic pool chair and settled back. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

'This is the good life,' he thought contentedly, 'It's so much better here than it is in Minnesota.'

He was distracted by the sound of someone sitting in the chair next to him. He opened his eyes to find Kendal facing him, water gun in hand. There was something about the grin on his face…

"Hey, James!" His tone was cheery… too cheery. James gasped as he saw his friend take aim at his hair- his hair!

"No! No no no no no nononono! Don't you dare!" James jumped up, his hands protectively in front of him.

"HA!" Kendal laughed dramatically as he fired the first strain of water, "Payback time!"

James yelled as he felt the cold water hit his face, "They were Carlos' ideas! All of them! I swear! KENDAL ! STOP IT! NOT THE HAIR!"

He sprinted around all the people at the pool, tripping over chairs and screaming as he went. Looking back on it, he was sure he looked like a chicken with its head cut off.

Finally, he made his way to the gate into the parking lot, where he promptly picked up to full speed. Since he also ran track and field alongside with hockey back in Minnesota, he was the fastest among the four best friends and could outrun Kendal easily.

However, the sight that faced him as he ran out of the gate made him stop short. There was Carlos, in the middle of a bunch of cars, with tears streaming down his face and his face filled with so many different emotions that it was impossible to read them. What had happened in those brief fifteen minutes that he had been in the parking lot?

Suddenly, he felt water hit him in the back, and he spun around to a laughing Kendal who continued to spray him in the face.

"Quit it!" He growled, on a whole new level of frustration. He knew Kendal couldn't see Carlos from where he was positioned, but he still felt annoyed, "For real." The last part he added quietly, to make sure his friend knew that he was serious.

Kendal automatically lowered the water gun, knowing that something was wrong. James turned around and ran as fast as he could towards Carlos, even faster than he had been running before. In fact, he wasn't sure he'd ever run that fast in his entire life.

And that included the State Championships.

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Kendal knew something was wrong the second he saw James' face. But he didn't know how serious it was until he saw where he was running. That was when his whole insides turned into one huge knot of worry. Water gun forgotten, he sprinted after James towards the distraught Carlos, and didn't even hear it smash to the ground.

He was barely aware of his own feet smacking against the pavement as he willed his feet to move more quickly than they actually could. In fact, he was surprised that he didn't trip and fall flat on his face. But, he supposed, when things are to a certain degree of importance, you can do things that should be impossible.

He reached his two friends in record time, skidding to a halt just in time to avoid crashing in to the two. His eyes quickly scanned the area, searching for clues as to what had happened. His eyes rested on a small puddle of liquid about six or seven feet from where they were standing. It glinted strangely in the bright light of May, and it hadn't rained in quite some time. Then, with a sick feeling in his stomach, Kendal recognized the color; deep red.

He took in a shaky breath, and turned to face Carlos.

"What happened?" his voice cracked at the end of the sentence and he prepared to hear the story. Something passed through Carlos' eyes that made him think that he didn't want to know, but he knew that he had to, however bad it was.

"Derek- He, well, I- I walked into the parking lot, to give Logan his phone," His voice was small and barely a whisper. Kendal and James had to strain their ears to hear it, but they wouldn't ask Carlos to speak louder. It was hard enough as it was.

"When I saw him, I smiled, and waved, like I always do, but his expression was so different than what it had been five minutes before. He looked like he was in so much pain, and then he moved his hand from where it was covering his shoulder…" he stopped, trying to control his voice, "Oh my God, there was so much blood… his entire shirt was red with it." He had started to cry harder, so that it was getting harder and harder to force the words out, and any other time he wouldn't have dared to let a single tear escape his eye in front of his friends… But this was so far from any other time.

"Carlos…" Kendal's voice was gentle and comforting, letting his friend know that he was there, "If you can't keep going, then it's okay." He wished that he'd never asked what happened. As hard as he tried to force the mental images from his head, they just wouldn't go away. He couldn't even begin to think what it must be like for Carlos… he had actually seen it all. Kendal put his arm around his friend's shoulder, trying to stay strong for the sake of the helmet-wearing boy.

"No, Kendal…I'm okay," Carlos was obviously trying his hardest to relay the information, "If I can't tell you guys, then I can't tell the cops. And I kind of need to do that." He took a deep breath, "I started running toward them. After about a second, Derek saw me. Then he freaked out. He yanked his gun out of his pocket, a- and hit Logan over the head with it." He looked at both of his friends, his brown eyes filled with sadness and fear.

He continued, "I could hear the crack from here. He must have hit him so hard…" He shook his head, trying to clear the thought, "As soon as Logan was out, he dragged him over to his car, a black one, and shoved him into the trunk. Then he slammed the door down, and in what seemed like a second, he was already behind the wheel and gone. I was so close to getting there in time… Dammit!" The sudden change from sorrow to anger surprised James and Kendal, so much that they both nearly flinched. Carlos almost never swore, so this, too, came as a surprise.

"Why didn't I see something?" He threw Kendal's arm off of his shoulder, his face contorted in rage, "I should've run faster, or tried harder, or- or have been a good Goddamn friend like I'm supposed to be! I was right f*cking there when Derek took him! I should have noticed something! I could've stopped it from happening at all!" His voice had been steadily increasing throughout, and he had been practically screaming by the end of it, but the last part he added in a barely audible whisper, "Why wasn't I there?" And that, my dear readers, is chapter numbero ocho(?) I think... I dunno whatever the Spanish word is for 8(: I hope you liked it! there was definately a lot more angst and such in there than in previous chapters... but seeing as the only category that this story is placed under is angst... I think it's ok(: SO, another semi cliffie! Yay! Anywayyzz I'll let you guys on your merry way/s, and pretty please maybe dig deep down and forgive me enough to possible review? I LOVE YOU ALL! oh and p.s sorry for the lack of italics/ possible surplus of typos in these little author notes before and after this chapter... I'm being forced to edit them in from my phone haha so ya sorry! Bye bye now! 


	9. Chapter 9

**_Alright, well... sadly this one is shorter because even though I tried to make it go as far as it could go but this is as long as I could make it, sadly): And again, I apologize the largest amount of times that you can think of, and then have it to the power of itself times two. If that make any sense whatsoever. So, now that that is over and done with, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU (times the same number as before:D) to everybody who reviewed and added this story and/or me in alerts/favorites! You guys make my days happier! So, please read and tell me what you think(: Hope you like!_**

**_Disclaimer: We've gone over this before. I DO NOT OWN THIS TV SHOW. sheesh._**

When Logan woke up, he couldn't see anything, nor could he hear. The room was completely silent and pitch black; the only reason he could even tell he was alive in the first place was the never-ending pain throughout his entire body, though especially where the bullet had hit him.

The floor he was lying on was cool, damp and hard. His brain computed slowly as he tried to think of where he could be. A basement, maybe, or a warehouse. But there were probably hundreds or thousands of each in LA, so that didn't narrow it down at all.

Using his good arm, Logan struggled to push himself up into a sitting position. He took a deep breath, then pulled himself to his feet using the help of the wall. He leaned heavily against it as dizziness hit him and he almost pitched forward to the floor again.

Once it had passed, he walked along the wall and ran his hand against it, feeling for a light switch of some sort. After what seemed like hours of wandering, he finally found one. He fumbled to flip it up, and when the room was bathed in the florescent light, he inhaled sharply.

He knew exactly where he was.

Linda looked at the digital clock for what seemed like the millionth time. The little red numbers never seemed to get bigger, no matter how many times she looked at them. It seemed like it had been 7:19 for four hours.

It had been almost exactly seventeen hours since Carlos, James and Kendal had called in near hysterics to tell her that her worst nightmare had come true. And each second that it didn't end, her heart broke into another piece.

The brunette sighed, hugging her arms around herself. Every single part of her wanted to be in her car searching, or in the Police Department giving whatever information that she could to track down Derek and save Logan. But the logical part of her knew that driving around wouldn't help anything, and the police had forced her home hours ago to 'try and get some rest' even though she was sure that they were aware that she would get none.

She ran her hand through her hair, and glanced at the phone beside her, willing it to ring with news toward finding her son. She refused to lose hope, no matter what.

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"What are we going to do?" Carlos whispered to Kendal and James, who were also sitting on Logan's bed. None of them had been able to sleep that night, so they had all been in the same position since they had arrived back at the Palm Woods. Not word had been said since until Carlos broke the silence.

The two other boys looked up at their friend, their eyes holding worry, pain and guilt as they thought about everything that had happened, each of them caught up in what they might have, could have done.

"I don't know." Kendal whispered back the words that very rarely left his mouth when the boys needed a plan. He always, always had one. But this time, it all seemed hopeless. All night, he had been racking his brain for anything that might give them a clue as to where Logan was. But the fact that Logan never told them a thing about his life before he moved to Minnesota left him dry.

James glanced at Kendal in surprise, but when he thought about it, he realized nobody was acting like themselves. He hadn't thought about the way he looked since he first saw Carlos standing in the parking lot. In fact, he actually had no idea whatsoever where his lucky comb was. Honestly, though he didn't care.

Carlos had taken off his helmet, and it sat alone on his bed. He had become a totally different person in the little time it had been since Derek took Logan. He hadn't laughed or smiled or done anything off-the-wall like he usually did. He had been completely reserved, as if it wasn't really him, but a wax dummy that happened to be able to move.

The usually loud and crazy apartment 2J had taken on an eerie feel without anybody flying down the swirly slide or banging around on the foosball hockey game. The quiet air seemed unbearably loud, until there came a knock at the door.

Gustavo Rocque was a very impatient man. So, naturally, he knocked on the door of the dog's apartment multiple times in the fifteen seconds it took for the door to open, resulting in him nearly whacking a petite brunette woman in the face.

"You're not the police." Her voice was dejected, and it looked as if she was about to shut the door in the man's face, but decided against it, "Can I help you with something?"

There was something annoyingly familiar about this woman, but Gustavo couldn't place his finger on it.

"I need to talk to the d- boys," He never was the type of man to beat around the bush.

That time, she did close the door. Or, would have, if Gustavo hadn't caught it before she could.

"Seriously, lady, I'm their boss, and it's _urgent_ that I remind them that they need to be at the studio before I am or else they're going to be stuck with harmonies for the next four hours."

"What's going on?" A different voice, just as tired, came from behind the partially closed doors.

"James," Gustavo sighed, "Will you _please _tell this woman to open the door so that I can make sure you _dogs_ actually get_ some_ rehearsal in while you are grounded because of your stupidity."

Suddenly, the door flew open the rest of the way to reveal James looking as mad as he had ever seen him. The older man was surprised to see that his hair was messed up and lifeless and that there were dark circles under his eyes. His shirt was wrinkled and dirty, and there was a potentially evil glare on his face. Somewhere in the background, a phone rang.

"We're not coming today." There was steel laced with each word, and Gustavo realized that there was something very, very wrong.

He heard soft crying coming from the apartment, and he saw that it was the woman who had opened the door. She was holding a phone in one hand with the other covering her mouth as she fell to her knees. Forgetting the visitor at the door, James quickly ran to her side.

And that's when Gustavo realized that the woman looked just like Logan.

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Derek was excited as he picked up the telephone resting on the counter. He couldn't wait to hear Linda's voice, to break her for good this time. He could do it with so few words- just a little white lie. He knew that she would eventually find out the truth… but this gave him more time and enjoyment.

His fingers pressed down each button individually, letting each tone give its full value. Once all ten digits had been entered, creating a song unique to his mission, he held the receiver to his ear and waited.

It had hardly ringed for a half second before it was picked up on the other end.

_"Hello?"_ Derek smiled when he recognized the voice immediately. She had been his love for years; until she betrayed him.

"Linda, darling," He made his voice smooth and nonchalant, hearing her breath in sharply on the other end. When she didn't reply verbally, he continued speaking, "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of unfortunate news." This time, there wasn't even the sound of breathing. Again he went on.

"I really do hate to have to tell you this, but, well… your son seems to be dead," Deciding to place just one more twist, he added, "Don't shoot the messenger."

There was a loud clatter, and then the line went dead.

_**I hope you liked it! Review, por favore? Please? Pwetty pwetty pwease? I know I've said this before, but I will try my heart out to get the next chapter up faster! And I've actually got an outline of what's going to happen so that should make it a little easier(: I love you all!**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hey, you guys, I'm back! And I am very proud to say that this is... MY SECOND CHAPTER IN ONE DAY! I felt kinda addicted to the story, therefore I have posted two chapters in one day for the first story I uploaded on my first account over three years ago! Anyway, thanks for all of your support on chapter nine, and I hope that you love chapter 10! **_

"Welcome home, Logan." Derek's voice called eerily from the top of the stairs. Logan felt his heart rate pick up, and he struggled to control his breathing. He couldn't believe that he was back; back in the house that had caused him so much pain throughout his childhood.

"They'll find you here," Logan responded, trying to make himself sound unafraid and strong, "This is the first place they'll look. And they won't give up."

"Oh, please," Derek sneered, "Do you really think they care? Nobody gives a shit about _accidents._"

Logan tightened his jaw. He knew that all that Derek did was lie. He wasn't getting into his head that easily.

"You might be able to trick everyone else in the world, but you can't fool me," Logan was tired of Derek doing anything he could just to make his life miserable, and the consequences didn't seem to matter anymore, "I lived your pathetic lies for seven years. I'm done."

"Didn't we go over this already, Logie?" Derek descended the steps into the basement, and brought himself inches away from Logan, "You should really learn to respect. Your. _Elders."_

As the man brought his fist back, Logan's mind was somewhere else.

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_ "Hey, look, it's a turtle!" Danny shouted, pointing over the side of the bridge. Seven-year-old Logan ran over to his best friend, peering over the edge to see the little animal._

_ "Do ya think we could catch it?" The dark-haired boy asked excitedly and looked at his red-headed friend with a huge grin on his face._

_ "Ya! Let's do it!" The two young boys ran down the curve of the bridge down by the banks of the river that was right next to Logan's house._

_ Giggles that they tried to contain could be heard as the two first graders snuck up on the little turtle. They were so focused on their task that they didn't even feel it when they were knee deep in the water._

_ "On the count of three, 'kay?" Logan whispered._

_ "Kay!" Danny nodded vigorously, ready to pounce on the turtle._

_ "1… 2… 3!" Logan shouted the last part, to make sure Danny heard, and they jumped into the water to try and catch the little reptile._

_ "I got 'im!" Danny screamed, the turtle cupped in his small hands, "Look it!"_

_ Logan's eyes were wide as he looked at the animal that Danny held, "Woah… it's so cool!"_

_ Danny's eyes sparkled, and the two met eyes and smiled from ear to ear._

_ "Do you wanna keep it?" Danny asked, with a little bit of regret in his young voice, "Cause my mom says that we can't have any pets 'till I'm nine."_

_ "Yeah! I'll go ask!" Danny placed the turtle in Logan's awaiting hands, "C'mon!"_

_ The boys sprinted as fast as their legs could carry them to Logan's back door where they ran inside, nearly crashing down Derek in the process._

_ "Dad! Look what me an' Danny found in the river!" Logan displayed the turtle proudly, "Can I keep him? Please!"_

_ Ignoring the question, Derek asked a question, obviously angry, "Why on _earth_ are you boys so wet? And muddy! Just look at the floors!" The man gestured to the brown footprints leading from the door into the hallway. Logan and Danny, after seeing the mess that they made, looked down at their shoes._

_ "I'm sorry, Daddy," Logan said meekly, afraid to look up and meet the man in the eyes._

_ "Yeah, Mr. Mitchell, we're real sorry. We won't do it again, promise!" Danny had always been told to look people in the eyes when you're talking to them, so he looked up as he spoke. _

_ What he saw surprised the young boy. He had never seen Mr. Mitchell that mad before. It was kind of scary._

_ "Sorry isn't good enough. You two go put that turtle back, __**now,**__" The man's rage was evident in his voice as he pointed to the back door, "And Daniel, I'm afraid you'll have to go home. Logan will be grounded for the next two weeks."_

_ Logan's head snapped up, "But Dad! That's not fair!" He protested, but immediately regretted it._

_ "Give Daniel the turtle, Logan. Daniel, you need to go home. Now."_

_ Upon receiving the turtle, Danny turned and flew out the door, hearing it close behind him, but he didn't leave. Crouching down below the window, he heard Derek speaking in a scarily calm voice,_

_ "Now, Logan. What did I tell you about respecting your elders?"_

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James was the first to know. While he tried to comfort the grieving Linda Mitchell, he felt himself slip into an almost trance. He didn't notice when Carlos or Kendal came running into the room, or when Janet called the police to inform them of the devastating news, although she had to repeat it five times until her words could be heard through her tears.

Katie came out, too, during all of this, and knew what had happened in just a glance. All four of the boys were like her brothers; losing Logan was like a dagger had cut off part of her heart. As Kendal held her in his arms, all she could think about was why the world could be so cruel to the nicest people.

Throughout the entire scene, Gustavo could only bear to look on in silence. He had never been an emotional person, but he felt… sad. As much as he tried to deny it, he really and truly did care for every one of the boys. Sure, they drove him up a wall multiple times a day, broke all of his stuff, and more, but they gave him an experience that he had always been deprived of. Because the boys taught him how to love again.

Carlos looked up, and saw Gustavo standing in the door way. Standing up, the usually perky boy slowly made his way over to the big-shot producer, who, strangely, actually seemed deeply affected by everything that was happening.

"Do you know?" Carlos asked, "Do you know why all of this happened?"

Gustavo was surprised to hear that voice coming from Carlos. It was as defeated and miserable as anything the older man had ever heard, and it just seemed so wrong.

"No." Just one word.

"Because of Derek Mitchell. Everything, every stupid thing that's happened is because of him."

Gustavo was confused, "What… what happened?" His typically booming voice sounded small, something very unusual for the man.

"Logan is gone. He's f***ing gone!" Tears were brimming at the edge of his dark eyes, "All because Derek Mitchell is sick enough t- to… to k… to kill his own son!" After that, after he had said it and made it real, Carlos couldn't hold it together anymore.

He cried harder than he ever had before, standing there in the door. And, to his surprise, he felt himself being pulled into a hug from the most unexpected person.

Because, as it turns out, even Gustavo Rocque had a heart.

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Logan fell to the floor after receiving Derek's blow. Rage filled him; he wasn't going to be Derek's punching bag anymore.

Anger renewing his strength, the younger boy stood up, his emotions etched on his face. As Derek came closer, Logan focused all his strength into the fist hidden behind his back. As Derek's own fist came hurtling towards Logan's face, he ducked then swung back up to land a punch to the man's temple.

There wasn't even a cry as Derek hit the ground.

Wide-eyed, Logan looked to see if the man was still breathing. Upon seeing the rise and fall of his chest, Logan flew up the stairs as fast as he could, the pain in his shoulder and face forgotten.

When he reached the counter, he fumbled for the wall phone that was always there, dialing the first number that came to mind.

_"Hello?"_ Logan's heart nearly stopped when he heard Kendal's voice on the other line. He noticed how upset and tired it sounded, and hurried to continue speaking.

"Kendal!" Logan briefly heard his name being exclaimed in disbelief before he continued, "Listen, I don't know how much time I have, but I'm in Colorado, at my old house. My mom will know where she is. As for right now, my da- Derek is completely unconscious, but I have no idea how long he will be. I'm going to try and get as far away as I can in that time."

_"Logan… just, thank God you're alive. We all thought… well, just be careful. You still have to marry Camille, remember?"_

Logan smiled thinly, remembering the crazy actress of the Palm Woods.

"Got it. Tell my mom I love her, okay? I'll see all of you guys… soon." His voice cracked at the end of the sentence, and he could feel salty tears burning in his eyes. Wiping his sleeve, he hung up the phone before picking it up again.

He dialed 911 then let it ring as he ran out the door.

_**And that, my dear friends, was chapter 10. Lots of OOC, and a little hope created at the end there! Please review and I love every singel one of you guys forever and a day!**_


	11. Chapter 11

**_So, yesterday (September 24th) was an awesome day, and you know why? Because it was the nine month anniversary of this story! And, since this is only the eleventh chapter, that is a VERY sad fact, but still. It was a need to update. And I kinda re- fell in love with Logan after watching the season two premiere earlier tonight(: And in the hour and a half from the time that I finished watching said episode (it was on DVR so it was a little late) I composed this here chappie for you guys! It is, once again, not as long as I'd like for it to be, but I've been having issues with playing out my chapters to be of decent length, so... ya. But once again, thanks so much to all who reviewed (and I will respond to those as soon as I upload this) and who added me to any alerts/ favorites! You guys are the BEST EVER! Hope you enjoy chapter eleven!_**

**_P.S. ya, I still don't own BTR. If I did, then it wouldn't be legal to show on Nickelodeon... then again, if they can show Degrassi, I guess this would be okay... just don't show the actual violence. I'd have to imply it and have an extensive use of sound effects. (:_**

Kendal slowly put the phone down in disbelief, feeling like an immense weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He had thought that one of his best friends was… well, he thought that he would never see him again.

Carlos and James were staring at him, having heard him call Logan's name. Their eyes held confusion and hope as they waited to hear what Kendal knew.

Kendal met each of their eyes, then Janet's and Linda's, and finally Gustavo's before he spoke, or really, whispered the two words that changed everything.

"He's alive."

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Logan's tennis shoes slapped against the pavement as he ran as fast as he could through the neighborhood, the place that he hated to call his home town. Of course, for the first five years of his life, there were happy memories, but most of them he was too young to recall. And then, of course, there were the times that he had spent with Danny, away from home. The times where he got to be a little kid.

But Derek always had to ruin everything.

_If it weren't for Derek_ being a psychopath, if he had tried to be a good father despite what his wife had done, then his life would be completely different. _If it weren't for Derek_, Logan would still be in Colorado, living life as a normal teenager and, on this special occasion, celebrating.

Because, _if it weren't for Derek_, then Danny would have been sixteen that day.

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Officer Collins shut the sirens off of the squad car as he pulled up to the small house that they had received the call from. There had been nobody on the other line speaking, so he was pretty sure that it was just some kid thinking it'd be funny to call 911 as a joke, without realizing that they knew where every call came from and responded to every single one.

Of course, they just might need the cops when their parents found out.

Shutting the door behind him, he and his partner, Officer Hetling, began to walk toward to front door.

'Why would it be wide open like that?' the man wondered, but blew it off as yet another irresponsible act by the same person who called the emergency number in the first place.

Reaching the entryway to the suburban home, he heard Hetling call out "This is the police. Please come to the door immediately." Her voice echoed through the seemingly empty home, yielding no response from anybody inside.

Collins nodded his head toward the inside of the home, signaling for Hetling to follow him inside.

The house looked as if it hadn't been occupied in an extremely long time; there was dust on top of every piece of furniture and picture frame, with nothing out of place except for a phone lying on the counter, a dial tone omitting from it quietly.

Collins began to feel uneasy as his instincts told him that this was more than a crank call. Something was wrong here; he just didn't know what. He swallowed as he felt for his gun, feeling a sick sense of security as his hand rested on top of it. He prayed that he wouldn't have to use a single bullet.

"Hello?" he called, his voice filling the house just as Hetling's had, and they exchanged a look that told him she was getting the same vibes.

Suddenly, a soft noise was heard from the basement, its door open just as the one to the house had been. The two officers turned towards it, trying to settle the nervous feelings in their stomachs.

Before they could advance, the small sounds became footsteps stomping quickly up the stairs, and both officers prepared for the worst.

A man appeared, his dark eyes filled with anger, and a black eyes forming on his face. In his hand, he held the same ominous dark weapon that they also carried with them.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" he screamed, clearly in a state of mental instability. Collins and Hetling both drew their guns as fast as they could, but they were too late.

The 'BANG' of the bullets firing was still lingering in the air by the time Derek was in his car and speeding down the street.

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When she heard that her son was alive, Linda couldn't even comprehend her feelings. She had been completely taken over by these new emotions, filled with an inextinguishable fire. She would _not_ stop until Logan was safe and Derek was behind bars forever.

"Did he say where he was?" She knew that it had been Logan himself on the phone, based on Kendal's reaction. But she couldn't help feeling so guilty that she had just believed Derek's words, that she hadn't been able to tell that her own son was, in fact, alive. She honestly hated herself at the moment, and even though she could never change what had already happened, she could control what would.

"He… he said that he was in Colorado. At your old house." Linda knew that Kendal was confused, and so was everybody else in the room. They didn't know why he would be in Colorado, of all places, and they didn't know who Derek actually was and why he had done any of this. But the explanation had to wait.

Without hesitation, Linda grabbed the phone from off of the counter and called the LAPD, not hesitating for a second to tell them exactly what they needed to do. Within a few minutes, a picture of Derek was being faxed to Denver, Colorado, and a squad was on the way to the house.

But what Linda wasn't told, what she didn't know, was that they had already dispatched two officers to the same address; they were already in the process of sending another car because the two officers had never radioed or returned.

She would never find out that, not only had Derek snapped (which she did later learn) but his cruelty ended the lives of two people who were just responding to an emergency. The evil man didn't know, and didn't care, that Officer Collins had a wife and two toddlers, or that Officer Hetling was (even unbeknownst to herself) was pregnant with her first child.

Derek Mitchell had ruined the lives of too many people to get away with it all.

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Logan stopped in front of the red brick house that had been his haven away from home as a little kid, suddenly feeling afraid to knock on the door.

'Why should I expect them to help me when their lives are destroyed because of me?' his thoughts were void of all hope or optimism, and he felt as if he were being swallowed by guilt. A small part of him tried to reason with the rest of his heart and brain that he couldn't have prevented anything, but he refused to listen.

As his adrenaline started to disappear, Logan felt every single thing that Derek had done to him physically return. His head was killing him, as was his shoulder, and he felt dizzy from what he was sure was blood loss. In fact, he was surprised that he was even conscious at all after everything.

He shivered in the cool Colorado weather, wishing that he still had his jacket. He had been cold in LA; here he was practically freezing. Running as far as he had in his condition probably wasn't the best decision, but unfortunately, it was the only one he had.

Realizing his only choice once again, the raven-haired boy began making his was towards the mahogany door when he saw Derek's car hurtling down the street. Finding a new burst of energy, Logan was pounding frantically on the wood in a few seconds, willing somebody to open it.

Derek drove the car up onto the curb and jumped out before the vehicle even had time to completely stop. Sprinting, he covered the distance between himself and Logan in a matter of seconds, prying him away from the door.

"Thought you could get away from me, did you?" Derek spoke fiercely into Logan's ear, dragging him towards the waiting car.

Despite how tired he was and how much his body just wanted to give in, Logan put up as much of a fight as he could. He kicked and struggled against Derek's grip, giving it all the effort he possessed to just get away. He yelled at the top of his lungs, trying to get somebody's attention.

It worked; the door to the home swung open and a man and a woman ran out, their eyes going wide with shock at the scene before them, both in the surprise of the scene and in the recognition of the people in it.

As Logan watched the woman pull out a cell phone and dial 911 (which seemed to be a recurring theme that day), and he saw the man impulsively running toward the two, willing to take a risk to protect the boy that was once like a son to him, Logan could no longer find the energy to fight Derek. Giving in, he let himself go limp, and let his world to black.

**_Andddd... yet another depressing ending. But I'm gonna let you in on a secret and sayy... things do get happier soon after this! Or do they? I'll let you think about that for awhile. So anyway, there are only a few chapters left in this fanfic (insert pained sob here) and, after nine months, I am getting pretty attached to it, so it'll be sad to let go. On that note, my goal is to upload the last chapter on October 24th, so be prepared for the ending! It may or may not blow your minds. There's a lot of 'maybes' attached to it because I have nothing more than a vague outline of the end, because I changed it from what I'd had planned since January, so I'll figure it out! A lot of reviews would definitely help me get it all sorted out sooner(: Wink wink, nudge nudge, yada yada yada. Well, hope you enjoyed and goodnight and goodbye from yours truly, oboe buddy!_**


	12. Chapter 12

_**Err.. hi! Well, it's sadly been awhile... again... cuz I'm the freaking worst task-completer ON THE PLANET. so, once agin sorry it took so long for me to get this up... and I'm not sure about it because this is the first chapter that I wrote and then re-wrote, and then I re-wrote it again, and finally ended up with this... but on the bright side this one has the best situation for the characters! Yay! I'm proud to say that this chapter... oh wait just kidding. It does have that. Alright, well... awkward... ANYWAY. Is everybody else having a fantastical three day weekend? Looking forward to Logan and JAmes fighting tonight on Nick? Not that I assume that there will actually be any physical harm, I mean it is a children's network... meh who knows. And, also... Last night, me and my good buddy went to the Cutting Edge Haunted house in Ft. Worth (which, by the way, I also don't own...) and AAAHHH IT WAS SO FLIPPING AMAZING. Especially the bubbles. Then we watched Friends on the computer till five in the morning(: So,, on with life, I STILL do not have ownership over Big Time Rush (I know, shocking) so ya... all rights to Nickelodeon and whoever else actually owns this story... ENJOY CHAPTER TWELVE**_

James impatiently tapped his fingers on the arm rest of the plane seat, wondering what could possibly be taking so long for them to take off. By the end of the hour forty minute flight, he was sure that he'd be taken straight to a mental hospital.

'Why did they have to discontinue Concords?' he thought in frustration, wishing he could just teleport to Colorado, kick Derek's ass, and be done with the whole thing.

James looked around him, and the scene he saw was completely surreal. For instance, none of the boys were talking. Kendal and Carlos were both just staring off into space, as if they were in another world. James could count on one hand how many times he had seen either of his friends like that; it never happened.

Katie was sitting silently next to Kendal, with her knees pulled up to her chest and her head leaning on his arm. Catching James eye, she waved half-heartedly, and he gave her a small smile, trying to be reassuring. It didn't work, however, and she returned her gaze to the seat in front of her.

It had taken a _lot_ of persuasion on Katie's part to convince Mrs. Knight to let her go with everybody else. The only reason she ended up being able to come was because Janet didn't want her daughter to be alone in a time like this.

The two adults were seated in the rows behind the kids, out of sight. They were probably in the same position as Kendal, Carlos, and Katie… just staring off into nothing. Sighing as he felt the plane pick up momentum, James leaned his head back against the seat, preparing himself for the longest plane ride he'd ever experience.

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Derek's mouth twitched in a small smile when he felt Logan stop struggling; the only thing that now stood in his way was the man who was now about ten feet away and gaining.

Moving quickly, Derek flung the backseat door open and proceeded to force Logan inside. Just as he was preparing to slam it shut yet again, he was pulled back by a strong arm around his neck.

Derek tried to throw the man off of him, but it was to no avail. It was an even match of strength, and soon punches were flying and each man was trying to get the other down. There was no dialogue until the other man spoke up.

"You're sick to do something like this to your own kid, Mitchell!" His voice was filled with hatred and disgust toward Derek, and his eyes showed nothing less.

"I decide the discipline, Walker!" Derek barked back, "He's _my_ kid, not yours!" He knew even as he said it that it was a weak argument, but it was an argument nonetheless.

"What the Hell do mean, _your kid?_" Ray Walker was infuriated by Derek's statement, "I was always more of a father to him than you ever were, bastard!"

"Maybe," Derek growled as he tried to shove the other man out of his way, "If you had been less concerned with _him_, then you wouldn't have let your own son die!"

Those words pushed Ray over the edge. He let out an enraged cry and out forward every ounce of strength that he had in his body. Derek had no chance at victory as he was pummeled by the furious man who he had once, so many years ago, called a very good friend.

Funny how times have changed.

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Kendal could think of nothing except for everything that he had missed. How could he call himself one of Logan's best friends if he didn't notice that he was hiding something like this? All those times he had bought the excuses, the lies… how did he not see it?

He felt terrible. He, Carlos and James had always teased Logan about little things that he did, and now he wished he could ever single word back because, as it turns out, those things weren't little. Always swimming with a shirt on, never breaking the rules, being so pessimistic… and, the one he most regretted making fun of, was how for years Logan had always flinched when somebody so much as raised their arm. The three boys had laughed about those things so many times, never even thinking that it could be anything major.

'Never, ever again,' Kendal told himself firmly. He would _not_ let Logan go through any of this alone.

"Kendal?" Katie's voice, for once small and afraid, broke through her brother's thoughts. She looked up at him and he met her eyes, "Do you think he's okay?"

"Of course he's okay!" he smiled at her, hoping she wouldn't see through it, "He's a strong guy- he can take anything.

Fortunately, Katie bought his words, and leaned against him once again. Kendal put his arm around her tiny shoulders and pulled her close. He could tell that she had been crying, and had started once again.

He felt tears beginning to prick at the edge of his own eyes, but forced them away. He _would not_ cry in front of everybody, and especially not in front of Katie. He had to be strong, stronger than he had been throughout this whole ordeal. After all, isn't that what big brothers do?

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Ray stood up from the ground, breathing hard. And unconscious Derek lay in the grass at his feet, and he felt his adrenaline begin to die down.

Immediately, he turned and pulled Logan out of the car, placing him softly on the grass. In the distance, he heard sirens and relief flooded him. They would be out of the woods soon enough.

"Logan? Can you hear me?" Ray asked gently, hoping to get a response. When the boy's eyes fluttered open, his face broke into a wide grin.

"What's going on?" Logan's voice was thick and drowsy as he began to awake. Suddenly his eyes became wide, and he shot up, only to fall back again as dizziness hit him. "Wha- where's my d- where's Derek?"

His tone was panicked and his expression was filled with terror. It pained Ray's heart to know that all of the fear in the teen's life was caused by a figure that was supposed to be every boy's hero.

"Logan, don't worry. Everything is okay," his voice was soft and calm, even though he was feeling the opposite, "It's all over."

At these words, Logan let himself fall back to the ground. All the pain and fear and anger would finally, finally be gone; nothing but memories. Not that that made it any easier- after all, memories were why he was breaking down in sobs in the yard that had been Danny's so many years ago.

Now, though, he wouldn't have to worry about the future. And, he was convinced, that if he tried hard enough he could somehow block out the past. He knew it was unreasonable and impossible, but the thought of it gave him comfort anyway.

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As soon as the plane touched down at the Denver airport, Linda had turned on her cell phone to check for important missed calls. When she saw that she had three, each with a voicemail, her heart started racing. Without hesitating, she held the device to her ear and began listening…

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Just under one hour after landing, the group of six rushed through the doors of St Anthony Central Hospital. All of them immediately sought out the front desk and ran toward it, out of breath.

"Logan Mitchell. What room?" Linda was in no mood to be polite- she needed to see him. Now. No exceptions.

"Are you family member?" The reception sounded bored, like she couldn't care less about the situation of anybody in the world but herself.

"I'm his mother. Now tell me where he is." The other five couldn't believe the tone- it was cold as ice, completely and entirely different from anything that they had ever heard the usually more reserved woman use.

"I'm going to need to see proof of ID, please."

"Tell me the room number or you're going to need one." That was all it took for the woman behind the desk to give in.

"He's in room 436, by the-"

Linda didn't hear the rest of the receptionist's words because she was already running down the hallway faster than she ever knew that she could.

_**I kinda hate that ending... but whatever it had to come to a close somehow. Even though I hated it. A lot. In other news... I hope you liked it! And, if you haven't figured out who Ray is.. then you'll find out. Eventually. But, now I have to bear some sad news... only one or two chapters left... )': So, kep in mind, my goal for the last chapter is October 24th. If I don't make it then well I'll cry. Maybe. Or I can just go back to Cutting Edge and spend the night with the ceran wrap people *shudders* That should be fitting. Anyway, please review and subscribe! GRACIAS!**_


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